Empathy. Problem.
Don't know how many people are out there who are able to absorb and feel the emotional state of persons they are interacting with-- whether they want to or not to.
Think of it like an unfiltered X-ray vision. Can you bear a conversation which you already know is covered by a fake smile or defensive repetitive gestures to escape from a particular thing that is bugging them.
Wherever you go and interact, same uncovered truth which you cant "turn off", still you have to laugh on their "jokes"(best cover of 'em all).. you have to listen to all of the care-talk that displays them as high-thinker while you still see that how much of that is real but still you listen them through because you can still feel the sense of rejection they might get if you don't.. some of us will think this as a coward step, like not bold enough to shut someone off.
No sense of boundaries makes it difficult to have normal friends and also is enough to twist any relationship.
Lies are needed to have a normal functioning state of mind which you can believe in and simply step in the "don't care" region.
Some manage to control it by creating their own artificial set of rules or say boundaries so that they are not exposed too much to a person. Watching their each step and live "too-carefully" so that they do not have to put with the problems of which they are not part of. To save their selves from unnecessarily clinging on to people and to build up the false expectations.
This "management" of their often ends in seclusion, where they become separated with outside world. They find it "easier" than the chaos they might get in with normal routine. Which is not bad as it sounds but it actually blocks them to be "happy". They may save themselves from the pain but also cut their selves off from the things that makes them light and happy. Hence this trade-off is not the optimal solution for these people.
They even can't share whats happening with them because they know what its like to be on the other side of such conversation. May be there is a fancy term and a good explanation for this in Freud's world but here it is just another confusion inducing text.
Don't know how to end this unfinished post.
Don't know how many people are out there who are able to absorb and feel the emotional state of persons they are interacting with-- whether they want to or not to.
Think of it like an unfiltered X-ray vision. Can you bear a conversation which you already know is covered by a fake smile or defensive repetitive gestures to escape from a particular thing that is bugging them.
Wherever you go and interact, same uncovered truth which you cant "turn off", still you have to laugh on their "jokes"(best cover of 'em all).. you have to listen to all of the care-talk that displays them as high-thinker while you still see that how much of that is real but still you listen them through because you can still feel the sense of rejection they might get if you don't.. some of us will think this as a coward step, like not bold enough to shut someone off.
No sense of boundaries makes it difficult to have normal friends and also is enough to twist any relationship.
Lies are needed to have a normal functioning state of mind which you can believe in and simply step in the "don't care" region.
Some manage to control it by creating their own artificial set of rules or say boundaries so that they are not exposed too much to a person. Watching their each step and live "too-carefully" so that they do not have to put with the problems of which they are not part of. To save their selves from unnecessarily clinging on to people and to build up the false expectations.
This "management" of their often ends in seclusion, where they become separated with outside world. They find it "easier" than the chaos they might get in with normal routine. Which is not bad as it sounds but it actually blocks them to be "happy". They may save themselves from the pain but also cut their selves off from the things that makes them light and happy. Hence this trade-off is not the optimal solution for these people.
They even can't share whats happening with them because they know what its like to be on the other side of such conversation. May be there is a fancy term and a good explanation for this in Freud's world but here it is just another confusion inducing text.
Don't know how to end this unfinished post.